maringuy

Watching Star Trek with BGB

2010-10-12T21:04:00.001-07:00

Posted via email from maringuy

Quick shot of the pizza sando for @pazarm. Not as impressive here as he mowed 1/3 already.

2010-04-07T11:53:00.001-07:00

Mike Barash | 650-520-0120 | mike@maringuy.com | twitter: @maringuy

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Just unearthed this gem in my dad's office. Real or spoof? I fear it's very, very real.

2010-04-07T11:51:00.001-07:00

Mike Barash | 650-520-0120 | mike@maringuy.com | twitter: @maringuy

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Secret Hipster - trust me.

2010-04-05T12:11:00.001-07:00

via secrethipster.blogspot.com

I love finding great music bloggers, and I also love sharing that shit with the world when I do. Enjoy Secret Hipster - a music blog that will be posting music pretty frequently. Make it a part of your web music rotation - you won't be sorry.

Two favorites from this playlist - Edward Sharpe, Miike Snow.

Enjoy.

Posted via web from maringuy

Holy balls this is amazing

2010-03-03T09:57:00.001-08:00

via nerdist.com

@nerdist put it best - this music vid will whip your mind's pants off and blow it.

Posted via web from maringuy

Again, "go get your PJs on" apparently translated to the snow/flight suit

2010-02-25T16:22:00.005-08:00

Mike Barash | 650-520-0120 | mike@maringuy.com | twitter: @maringuy

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Fucking. Soaked. Sinbad's is a candle in the wind on a cold dark winter's night. (REO)

2010-02-25T16:22:00.003-08:00

Mike Barash | 650-520-0120 | mike@maringuy.com | twitter: @maringuy

Posted via email from maringuy

4 out of 5 drink groups represented today - ironically, booze is on the outside looking in.

2010-02-25T16:22:00.001-08:00

Mike Barash | 650-520-0120 | mike@maringuy.com | twitter: @maringuy

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Looks like MOG's ready to Keep Austin Weird, one shaggin' waggon at a time.

2010-02-19T10:56:00.001-08:00

via techcrunch.com

Posted via web from maringuy's posterous

Sienna ads by Jody Hill - fucking awesome

2010-02-16T09:46:00.001-08:00

via youtube.com

Toyota, in spite of its recent recalls, is doing a lot of things right. I've been a Sienna owner for going on 5 months now, and let me tell you, that fucking thing is bad ass. Full disclosure, I'm a minivan lover and have been since I was 16 (not sure what's wrong with me), but this thing sets the bar pretty damn high.

Anyway, full marks to Toyota for going balls-out with this campaign. TV spots, social media integration, and Jody Hill of Eastbound and Down, Foot Fist Way, Observe and Report fame directing the spots.

Are they a Modern Family rip-off? Absolutely. But they're still funny. Nice work Toyota.

Posted via web from maringuy's posterous

b is for bourbon | altruism in the morning.

2010-02-16T09:40:00.005-08:00

via altruisminthemorning.com

Sweet cups - love seeing Nat's take on the coolest design-y things I'd never otherwise know about.

Posted via web from maringuy's posterous

BMB digging his new air jordans, watching the syracuse game w dad. sickest shoes ever.

2010-02-16T09:40:00.003-08:00

Mike Barash | 650-520-0120 | mike@maringuy.com | twitter: @maringuy

Posted via email from maringuy's posterous

Crazy Heart Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

2010-02-16T09:40:00.001-08:00

via lala.com

The Dude deserves an Oscar for his role - the music was fucking awesome, the movie was strong too.

Posted via web from maringuy's posterous

Found my calling

2009-11-12T10:05:00.000-08:00

The only question at this point is "does the panther travel?" And I think the answer would have to be yes. Because if you can't go "off the panther" for double cup sinkage, is there even a point? I mean, yes, of course there is, but the panther adds that intangible that takes the competition to the next level.

Viva pong, and viva the panther.

That was "Me Farting" by Chopin

2009-11-10T13:38:00.000-08:00

Stewie Farting | Movies & TV | SPIKE.com

Ever had to leave your desk every 5-10 minutes to release jaw-dropping, life-altering farts that rip a hole through time and space (and possibly your jeans)? Me neither. Especially not today.

I don't know what the deal is. I'm getting over some kind of a cold that apparently should be renamed "justgambledmaybelost" in recognition of the fact that I have this feeling every time one of said farts is exhumed from deep within me with a force that may actually be cracking tiles in the bathroom as it resonates off the walls.

And does this new-found and sudden inability to control my own ass have any implications as it relates to work? Will it harm my corporate reputation? Most would probably argue no, it wouldn't... but I'm not sure if that's a win.

Guess that's that. I'll be posting again soon - can't have this be the first thing everyone sees when they come here. (Yes, that's intended to be facetious. Nobody ever comes here.)

The Wrong Hole?

2009-10-04T09:45:00.001-07:00

I can safely say I never thought I'd be blogging about Scott Baio and how much I dig him, but frankly this is his finest hour. DJ Lubel is a pretty funny dude, and if you enjoy the below, check out his facebook page and his roast of Murray Hill culture, which is pretty spot on. (blogger admission - I too have blacked out at Joshua Tree. thanks Little General for a night to remember...or not, as the case may be.)

I've watched this video at least ten times, and the only thing I've seen that tops it is "sheep shearing" by Seth MacFarlane. But, different genres for sure. There's room for both in my pantheon of YouTube greatness. Enjoy.

moody's back baby - countdown is on

2009-09-03T14:35:00.000-07:00

what could possibly compel the laziest blogger in the west to come out of summertime hibernation to post? HANK MOODY. to paraphrase Steve from Eastbound and Down, Hank Moody Is Coming Back Fucking Soon.

United sucks balls

2009-07-09T16:05:00.000-07:00

I've never particularly enjoyed flying any airline except Virgin America. Mostly the experience ranges from below average to completely fucking intolerable, and 9 times out of 10 I'll arrive at my destination haggared, pissed, and totally spent. But that can be due to a number of factors, and it's not always because the airline itself supports a policy of total assholery.

United, it seems, DOES espouse this corporate ethos, as evidenced by this story, first reported by the Chicago Tribune.

The gist of the story is that a bunch of United baggage monkeys were seen throwing guitars around on the runway like retards in the tanbark. Among those was a $3,500 Taylor belonging to Dave Carroll. Oddly enough, upon arrival his guitar was broken. United told him to take a flying leap, and he pledged to write 3 songs about his shitty experience, and make them available to anyone in the world.

He followed through.

Video below - hope United crashes and burns on this one. Pun intended.

Perfect. Snoop Dogg's Lakers Low Rider.

2009-07-02T16:14:00.001-07:00

Better than the Batmobile. This ride speaks for itself. Well actually Snoop speaks for his ride. And it's fucking perfect. Enjoy.

Machine

2009-05-07T11:05:00.000-07:00

In honor of Laker win last night, we watch Machine.

Worst strippers ever (but great ad)

2009-05-06T15:32:00.000-07:00

Axe has been impressing the shit out of me recently. They take risks in their ads, and they're not afraid to say screw it, dudes in their 20s will dig this and those are our people.

Exhibit A:

This is one of my personal favorites - and below is the uncut longer version. For some reason this speaks to me...

And then there's this. I found it on Amy Paffrath's blog, and I've watched it ten times in the last half hour. Any ad that can recommend that you "finger. rub. spread." is pretty strong. The part that kills me every time is the dude at the very end of the ad in the background complaining "worst strippers ever." For some reason this absolutely wrecks me.

Finally, cuz I'm awesome like that, check out this ad for a wolf shirt posted on Amazon. I first came across this a long time ago, and @playrawkstar sent it back around again this afternoon. Worth it for the first comment alone, and just keeps getting better. You're fucking welcome.

Mow The Lawn

2009-04-06T09:17:00.000-07:00

So I've been a little preoccupied with work, family, travel and borderline alcoholism these past 6-8 weeks, and the blog has taken a bit of a back seat in terms of priorities. Rock of Love Bus has remained top of mind though, and last night during each commercial break was a commercial for a different feminine hygiene product. I had to check the cable guide twice to make sure I wasn't watching the Lifetime channel by mistake. The logical connection is obviously that most of the ladies on the Love Bus fall into one of two categories: the low-rent whores who have probably infected the bus with crabs, or the professional "dancers" who if swayed to a new brand probably buy enough product to directly affect the revenue line.

Anyway, the bottom line is that commercials about bush trimming are funny. It's great to watch the ad men work hard to be creative about a subject they can't directly reference.

Favorite part is that the longer clip starts with a woman petting a cat that sits on her lap. Nice work agency!!

And shout out to Groovemonkey for reminding me that this is blog-worthy. Check out the Monkey's blog over at www.groovemonkey.com...

Steel Panther Rocks

2009-02-16T22:21:00.000-08:00

"Whether they were jamming to sold out shows, or jizzing on passed out groupies...Steel Panther had only one way to go, and that was up."

I'll give you one chance to guess where I'll be on Thursday, March 19th at La Zona Rosa in Austin, TX: the Steel Panther show, that's effing where.

Is it blasphemous to compare a mocumentary to Spinal Tap after only watching for 2 minutes and 56 seconds? Probably, so I won't do it yet. But in asking that question, I actually just did.

Steel Panther.

Michael Phelps should get a pass. Really.

2009-02-09T18:34:00.000-08:00

So Michael Phelps wins 12 gold medals for his country, at an immeasurable personal cost over several years in the prime of his life. Then he takes a little time out, hits the bong in London, gets sold out by some asshole who sends his picture to the tabloids, and gets crucified by the media.

Fair? Hardly. And if this didn't sum it up, check out the above by Seth Myers. Genius. And c'mon guys - if anyone gets a hall pass to let loose and smoke a little weed, I think it's Michael Phelps. Really.

GnR meets Nintendo. Get some.

2009-02-04T13:56:00.000-08:00

Two things I love: Guns N' Roses and Nintendo. I've combined them in past by playing Wii while listening to the GnR catalog, but here's another mash-up I'm digging.

Does this make you feel like you're between innings in Baseball Stars? Enjoy.

I can support this kind of environmentalism

2009-02-04T12:37:00.001-08:00

If only all environmentalists could somehow wrap drinks into their thinking, maybe they wouldn't come off as obnoxiously self-righteous. Good for you, Sierra Nevada. You're on the list for a key to my Sparks fallout shelter.

I'd like to see PETA integrate flavored vodka into its protests, and maybe I'll pay more attention to critical mass if they start wearing beer helmets while they create chaos.

Thanks to Piers and the gang at PSFK for surfacing this stroke of genius.

You killed Sparks! You bastard!

2009-01-21T15:38:00.000-08:00

Sparks is pretty awesome. What other malt liquor drink will get you bouncing off walls AND leave you with an orange tongue for up to 36 hours?? What better way to kick-start your pre-game than to throw back a Sparks or two while playing RockBand?? The jolt you get after a couple sips speeds the guitar fingers exponentially by the way.

I've been known to dabble.

Sparks has been a part of the pre-game ritual for as long as it's been on the market. But now, thanks to this guy, that's all going away.

I first found out about this travishamockery from Pej, and the Gruckers and I have been buying it off the shelves like we're preparing for the apocalypse. Which, in many ways, we are.

No need to elaborate when I can share this link; my favorite quote from his story is below. Sums it up nicely:

"Look, I know this isn't exactly the Israeli-Palestinian conflict in terms of important issues, but this is your government, and it's being bullied by some nerd with wire rimmed glasses and a Just for Men dadstache who hates to party. Petty as it sounds, this is one small issue that stands for a lot of bigger issues. You've gotta fight for your Right to Party."

Just for Men dadstache. Giggle.

Also, Sparks chicks are hot. Here's hoping they're not made to disappear with the rest of our fun.

Give the gift of...sheep.

2009-01-20T06:30:00.000-08:00

I saw this commercial approximately 800 times during this past holiday season, and it made me laugh harder each time. The buildup to the gift this woman is about to receive reminds me of the Lexus commercials where she goes outside and there's a car outside wrapped in a bow.

Well, this ad has all the same type of buildup to the great gift, only when dude swings open the barn door, the big reveal finds a sheep standing there all nicely wrapped up in a bow. A SHEEP! A fucking sheep.

I thought this was a SNL skit on first viewing, or expected some the dude to walk up to the sheep, slice open his neck and pull out 8 blood diamonds that would eventually become the world's most expensive tennis bracelet. Nope.

And the best part is the woman's reaction - "How did you know?! It's perfect." First of all...what??? Second of all, I bet he knew because you live on a fucking farm and since the economy's in the tank all you talk about is needing more sheep. But those are some well-dressed farmers, and I can't imagine they're hard up for extra sheep...

A couple more questions while we're here:
- how long has that thing been in there tied up in a bow?
- how does one discreetly keep a sheep hidden in a bow for an extended period of time?
- do the kids assume Santa just carries all manner of livestock in his sleigh?
- what now? do they just carve his ass up and serve him for Christmas dinner? do they take him inside?

OK... that's all I got.

If I ever needed rubbers again, I'd pick Durex

2009-01-15T10:48:00.001-08:00

Sure it's only January, so it may feel like not so much of a big deal when I say this is the best thing I've seen all year. But I can safely say that the sentiment will hold true through at least June, barring any unforeseen Elisha Cuthbert sex tapes. (Sean Avery's sloppy seconds be damned - she is unbelievable.)

Now, I won't be needing condoms tomorrow, next week, next month, or in the 2020s. I'm pretty much covered. However, if I DID need to wear a hat, you can bet your ass that I'd pick Durex every time - this is possibly the best thing I've ever seen.

Take notes Sting. This is how it's done.

UPDATE - for some funny (and short) outtakes, click here.

I knew I liked Rick Reilly

2009-01-15T09:24:00.000-08:00

Came across this hard-hitting piece of journalism over at ESPN the Magazine, courtesy of Rick Reilly.

Rick, your stock is rising. No better way to my heart than via my beer pong table (see below):

Best part about this story besides the fact that ESPN the Magazine is now covering beer pong as a sport (long overdue), is that Rick Reilly went to World Series of Beer Pong because his sons were in the tournament.

Good on you Mr. Reilly - if I asked my dad to attend my beer pong tournament, he'd give me that sideways head-cock accompanied by one of those "really??? you're MY son??" looks that's usually followed by a DNA test.

Best quote of the article - one of the dudes on a team that made it to the finals apparently slugged a bottle of Jack Daniel's beforehand. "The key today," he said later, "was me getting real drunk."

Well played sir. Well played.

There's only one place I'd rather be, French Lick

2009-01-04T14:03:00.000-08:00

I love Larry Bird so much.

I love 1980s NBA action, I love the gear, and I love that not everyone had credit cards, and people actually mailed a dollar bill through the postal service to receive a catalog to order their gear. This process was pretty normal back then, but the actual sending and the waiting and the ordering and the delivery etc etc would absolutely KILL me if I wanted a one of those Cliff Engle sweaters today.

Larry's not exactly the smoothest pitchman either, is he...

I think this commercial was airing around the time that I somehow obtained Larry's phone number at his house in French Lick, Indiana. I used to call several times daily, asking for Larry. For some reason he was never around. I was told repeatedly that he was fishing, on the boat with his brothers, or at various other spots in and around French Lick. I would leave my name and phone number, and assure whomever was on the other end of the line that I'd be calling back soon.

Larry never called back.

I have no idea what I would have said to Larry had he been around to talk to ten-year-old me. I'd like to think it would have revolved around that amazing sweater...

To bring it all home, the video I've seen approximately 15,000 times that takes us back to the title of this post. Enjoy.

"Live-blog the snippage!"

2008-12-29T15:42:00.000-08:00

I'm about 30 minutes post-vasectomy, so technically this is not a live-blog event. However I was told by my doctor that I'm his first patient to ever text message mid-vasectomy. (I updated my Twitter / Facebook status.) Anyway after initial excitement followed by recent apprehension and a little bit of immediate pre-op nervousness, I'm happy to report that there are - hopefully - no more babies in my future, and my balls are safely put back together, and on ice - literally and figuratively - for the next couple days.

A coworker responded to my status update with the title quote - I think she was being facetious, but I briefly considered it. I was laying back with two-hand access to the old crackberry so I could have gone all Ed TV on that ass without much trouble. But the truth is - and this has to be a good thing - there wouldn't have been much to blog. The whole thing took less than 20 minutes, and aside from a couple minor tugs and the sensation of being kicked in the man-junk a few times during the anesthesia, there was really no pain. And hey - free ball shave. I'm always up for a little complementary manscaping, so thanks nurse, and hope you paid equal attention to both sides. I'm nothing if not a stickler for below-the-waist symmetry. So here we sit on the other side.

The balls are still numb so no pain updates as yet. I'm icing, and I'll be going on-off every fifteen minutes for the next few days here. The wife is helping me acquire complete seasons of 24 starting from the beginning, and in the absence of all else I'll be at the mercy of shitty bowl games through Friday afternoon. So the snippage is done, there's not much to tell, and I'm registered for "get well soon" gifts at Nordstrom and Best Buy.

All in all, this is a walk in the park compared to what our family has been through over the past few years - I'm easy. Now it's back to the ice treatment. And hopefully I won't pop any sutures playing RockBand...

Small price to pay for the smiting of one's enemies

2008-12-19T13:54:00.001-08:00

Was having one of those office conversations that organically leads to a discussion about how to deliver an effective stink palm, and I had to post the original for your holiday enjoyment. Everyone please try to use this maneuver at least once before the close of the year.

Tracy Morgan is a funny motherfucker

2008-12-05T10:21:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my man Steve Kerns for surfacing this video (that only a million other people have watched at current count). Anyway it's pretty awesome. I love that he brought out his "mating call" joke that he used in last night's 30 Rock too.

As Steve said, this kind of a performance = confidence in your career.

Enjoy.

Californication back for season three

2008-12-05T09:25:00.001-08:00

Which means, of course, I've got a broner.

It's official - see here for more information. This season has so far been flawless, and as it's getting close to the end of season two, I was starting to officially get all angsty about season three and whether or not the suits would make the right call. I don't think I could live another Arrested Development situation, and I'd hate to spend the next 20 years in the slammer after CBS forced my hand and I was compelled to burn that mother down.

So, disaster averted. Moody will be back for another year.

DUIphone

2008-11-25T16:38:00.001-08:00

We can file this in the category "that's fucking interesting, man..."

The DUIphone may just be the innovation that tips the scales firmly into the iPhone camp. My buddies over at PSFK posted this link today that provides some more info. Good times.

Klosterman on GnR - genius (of course)

2008-11-21T12:51:00.001-08:00

Of course when a person you admire on many levels shares your opinion on something, it feels good. In this case the admired person in question, Chuck Klosterman, is someone I look up to as a writer, as a cultural pundit, and also as a fellow connoiseur of hair bands (and basketball).

I can safely say I've probably read over 75% of anything Klosterman's ever written. I've read all his books, all his stories in Spin, GQ, The New York Times Magazine, etc. I used to work in PR and, once I had blown through all his more accessible material, I would use our media search tools to find everything he had written at the local papers he used to write for. I'd then print that up and read it straight through - at work, on the ferry, in the bathroom, and sometimes behind the wheel - until I was done.

Klosterman's writing gives me a huge broner, and I embrace that broner.

Anyone who has read Klosterman's work would agree with the statement at the end of his intro as a guest reviewer of Chinese Democracy in The A.V. Club - There is no one in the world more qualified to review the exhaustingly anticipated new Guns N' Roses album than he is.

If you read the review, you'll note that the comments section devolves into a sidebar discussion about people's own views on Klosterman, whether he's a hipster idiot, their take that he is the kind of guy who rents a movie based on what he imagines the guy behind the counter will think about him because of his choice rather than because it's what he wants to see, etc. These people are clowns. Their discussion is valid and kind of interesting and may or may not be true, but what they're missing is that Klosterman absolutely nailed his review, and the discussion should be about that.

The part that got me excited early was this paragraph:

Here are the simple things about Chinese Democracy: Three of the songs are astonishing. Four or five others are very good. The vocals are brilliantly recorded, and the guitar playing is (generally) more interesting than the guitar playing on the Use Your Illusion albums. Axl Rose made some curious (and absolutely unnecessary) decisions throughout the assembly of this project, but that works to his advantage as often as it detracts from the larger experience. So: Chinese Democracy is good. Under any halfway normal circumstance, I would give it an A.

Fuckin A, man. Couldn't have said it better - and actually also noted that there are 9 legitimately good songs on the album, which makes it quite the achievement against any objective measures - for which there may be none as it relates to Chinese Democracy.

Anyway, after a solid 12-15 listens at this point, I'm liking it more and more with each listen. I won't try to come with a new way to say this because Klosterman sums it up perfectly:

I find myself impressed by how close Chinese Democracy comes to fulfilling the absurdly impossible expectation it self-generated, and I not-so-secretly wish this had actually been a triple album...The final truth is this: He makes the best songs. They sound the way I want songs to sound. A few of them seem idiotic at the beginning, but I love the way they end...he did a good thing here.

New GnR - a first take

2008-11-19T21:14:00.000-08:00

It's here. After only 17 years, it's here.

Now let me just start with a few qualifying statements and facts.

First of all, new Guns is not really Guns. Velvet Revolver is more Guns than this group of impostors to the throne. Sure Axl's the frontman and that carries some value. But let's be clear - this is not the same GnR and should be judged as a separate project.

Next, the world's been waiting almost two decades for this album. All the false starts, bad press, random bar fights with Tommy Hilfiger, ill-fated hair decisions (dreadlocks? cornrows?!?), and other assorted bullshit around Axl, his new band, and the album do not bode well for massive public success. The hype that has been building on itself for 17 years or so is crushing at this point, so an honest judgment of the music is gonna be pretty tough to extract from all the rest of it.

And I mean let's be honest - Bumblefoot and Dizzy Reed are only going to carry you so far.

All that said, I've been looking forward to this album since the day it was announced (I believe I was in high school at the time), and finally seeing the tracks lined up all nice and neat in my iTunes gives me a broner for sure. I've listened to the album 3 times through so far, and without getting into the details (we'll save those for a later post) - I fucking dig it.

I've struggled with my ability to be objective here. I mean I once almost tattooed a design on my shoulder giving prominence to guns and to roses as core design elements. (I still may in fact.) GnR was totally influential on my own musical upbringing, and is one of the few bands I still listen to on an almost daily basis. They're in the rotation for life. But do these facts predispose me to be more or less receptive to the band's new work? Arguments could be made on either side. I argue that I'm a harsher critic now because of my love of the old Guns. But am I so fucking excited that I'm going to be blind to what might be truly shitty music?

I think I can be fair.

Favorite tracks after 3 listens:
Sorry
Prostitute
Street of Dreams
This I Love
Madagascar
I.R.S.
Better
There Was a Time
Catcher in the Rye

And that's a lot of tracks. 9 of 'em in fact. Any album with 3 or more killer songs after the first few listens usually makes it into my "good album" category. More than that is just bonus. Triple that is fucking exciting. And as I listen over time I pull out more and more tracks that are interesting for various reasons. After 3 listens - still very much early days - I see this album having all the potential in the world to become great.

How does it map to the old Guns that I know and love? That's tougher to say. I mean the Use Your Illusion albums were a departure from the raw chaos that made Appetite so explosive - but Appetite was a totally new thing too, so anything derivative would have been by definition less explosive. So far I like Axl's more melodic tracks, and the harder stuff sounds more forced. It's different than the old Guns to be sure, but how might the band have evolved if it had stayed together? Velvet Revolver is a more direct descendant - musically and personnel-wise - of the true Guns n' Roses than Axl's new band. But that doesn't make what Axl has produced any less interesting in its own right.

So for me, Chinese Democracy is a success. Has it totally lived up to the hype? Maybe not. But could anything live up to this kind of hype?

Give it a listen and you tell me. I'm just pumped to have Axl back in the fold, and to see Guns - in whatever incarnation - relevant again.

UPDATE: here's a take by the LA Times. Interesting, even if the writer's love of her own voice makes me look positively concise by comparison... I mean, Ann Powers - get over yourself please. You're here to review albums, not masturbate on-screen. I need a nap after that review. Or a shower. I almost threw up reading this line: "Rose's music tells the saga of the mutually abusive relationship between the freight train's axle and the rose it crushes, a potentially poisonous flower that keeps growing back."

You've been warned.

Draper is a pimp

2008-10-26T23:20:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows anything about Draper, pimps, or anything else will acknowledge that Don Draper is a straight up pimp. The SNL send-up on how to have affairs with women may be the best skit this side of Wahlberg Talks to Animals. Love the resurgence of SNL this year by the way...and love Draper.

By the way...Coldplay could not be more pretentious if they tried. I mean OK, they have some awesome songs, but jesus guys, clean it up. I haven't wanted a studio to catch fire this badly since anytime Elizabeth Hasselbeck speaks.

Google Mail Goggles: Genius

2008-10-08T09:03:00.001-07:00

Google Mail Goggles: Are You Sure You Want to Send That? - ReadWriteWeb

We're all guilty of it - the dreaded drunk dial. It's late, you're shit-hammered, and it makes perfect sense to call [insert ex / coworker / friend's sister / etc.] and initiate - or attempt to initiate - some major shenanigans. We are sure of this fact, as sure as anything in the world. So we pick up the phone and proceed to let our drunk selves dial up checks our sober selves sure as shit wish they hadn't cashed.

It rarely ends well.

When I was still in the game and such dalliances were a major hazard, Blackberries were just taking off but not yet mainstream, and text messaging hadn't yet swept the globe. Drunk emailing was the least of my worries. Today it's a different story - and while drunk texting offers many advantages, emailing under the influence can have some serious repercussions.

It's good to know the Google is looking out.

Tubes 1, Banks 0

2008-10-03T15:31:00.000-07:00

Came across this innovative and awesome bank robbery on CNET this afternoon, and had to share. Pretty fuckin' cool way to rob a bank if you ask me - if I ever go that route, I'm sure as shit hiring decoys. And involving water toys always adds degree of difficulty points to your score. I believe this to be the first inner tube escape of the year unless I missed something crazy on the Truckee River this past summer...

According to King 5 in Seattle, "The robber sprayed the guard with pepper spray, grabbed a bag of money the guard was carrying and ran about 100 yards to the creek that runs into the Skykomish River, shedding clothes as he ran." And that's not as easy as it looks - if I try to strip off my pants while running I usually trip and fall, cops chasing me or not.

Nice work guy.

Piling on Palin

2008-10-03T10:06:00.001-07:00

OK, at this point I acknowledge it's piling on, but seriously, who wouldn't want to pile on Palin? And she could end up with the most high profile oval office job of any woman since Monica Lewinsky. (Had to reach to make that "job" joke work...and I would argue it doesn't really work...)

ROTD - almost a year later

2008-10-02T22:14:00.000-07:00

I'm not a compulsive Yelper. In fact, I'm anything but. I love the service, and every time I need information on an eatery - ANY kind of information - Yelp is the first place I go (and they always deliver). But I don't feel compelled to review every spot I hit up, although I do try to keep the reviews coming from time to time.

Anyway, I had a note in my inbox tonight letting me know I had positive feedback on one of my old reviews. Never one to shy away from people saying nice things about me, I headed straight over to soak up a dose of affirmation. Much to my surprise, I found out my review had been awarded Review of the Day (ROTD). Another surprise to me is that I won ROTD for a review I wrote almost a year ago.

Guess they were just thinking it over. Glad they rendered a decision.

This is actually the second ROTD I've received - out of only 8 reviews, that ain't bad.

To read today's ROTD, click here. (To read my other ROTD, click here.)

Thanks Yelp, for the ROTD-induced broner.

Politics politics politics

2008-10-02T11:18:00.001-07:00

Anyone who reads this blog or has the misfortune to spend time with me in real life can vouch for the fact that I'm probably not the most political person most of the time. Places you were historically least likely to find me include political conventions, voting booths or watching C-SPAN. However, this year's election has galvanized my interest, along with many other lazy Americans, for a variety of reasons - not the least of which is the buffoon who's been occupying the oval office for the past 8 years, and the realization that we can't have another 8 years of the same or similar.

How engaged in this year's campaigns are we as a nation? Well, extrapolating from my own personal experience, I'd have to say pretty fucking engaged. For example, yesterday I participated in a lengthy and (for us) pretty intelligent discourse about the election with my group of friends.

This may not seem like anything notable at a glance, but consider that 99% of our email conversations to this point have been about fantasy football, gambling, drinking, women, or relentless mockery of everything under the sun, and it's clear that a full-day back and forth about the state of our nation and the pros and cons of those who may end up running it is significant.

Bringing it back to familiar ground (drinking), I'll share today an email that was circulated by a friend of mine (thanks Ticks!!) that you should all consider as we prepare for tonight's vice presidential debate.

VP DEBATE DRINKING GAME (This email originated at MIT.)

In the blue corner, Joe "I take the train home" Biden. In the red corner Sarah "I can see Russia from my house" Palin.

(My interjection: comment from a coworker after reading this, "if we follow the game we will all be wasted within the first 5 minutes. That is of course assuming the red team can follow anything Palin is saying.")

Blue Team Rules

- For every mention of Scranton, Pennsylvania: Take a sip.

- When Biden begins the "I take the train home everyday story" being drinking. Don't stop 'till he finishes.

- When Biden questions Palin's inexperience: Drink something you've never had before

- When Biden makes an obvious gaffe: Spill your neighbor's drink

- When Biden uses X words when Y will do: Drink X-Y seconds

- When Biden patronizes or self identifies with the working class: Down some brew (Bonus points if you use Miller Highlife)

- When Biden lambastes Washington Insiders: Make a toast to his 35 years of experience in the United States Senate

- The Joe Biden checklist. If he mentions all of the following, finish your drinks: Blue Collar, Golden Parachute, Little Guy, Washington Insider, Working Class, Clean

Red Team Rules

- Every time Palin cites Alaska's proximity to Russia as "foreign policy experience": Take a shot of vodka

- When Palin claims she said "Thanks but no thanks" to the Bridge to Nowhere: Demand a new drink from your hosts, say "thanks but no thanks," and then when no one's looking, take it anyway, then claim you never wanted it.

- When Palin recounts putting the governor's jet on eBay: Auction off a beer to your friends

- When Palin insists that governing a small town in Alaska is in fact experience: Give your friend a shot glass of beer when he/she asks for a pint and insist it's the same thing.

- When Palin points out that Biden thought Obama was too inexperienced for the job: Finish your drink and say, "Oh Snap!" If you're a democrat, follow this by crying.

- When Palin claims that Washington's problems can be solved by small town know how and common sense: Drink a Labatt Blue as you read up on how to become a Canadian citizen.

- When Palin talks about being the most popular governor in the country: Go to a room by yourself, realize you're the most popular person in the room, then finish your drink.

- The Sarah Palin checklist. If she mentions all of the following, finish your drinks: Bush Doctrine, Snow Machine, Moose, Lipstick, Hockey Mom, Family Values

More shenanigans here and here. And thanks to the same coworker for pointing those out!!

Game on

2008-09-25T21:02:00.000-07:00

The wait is over. No editorializing needed, simply click here and follow the instructions to become a Showtime VIP member and watch Californication Season Two, Episode One.

Hank Moody is back with a vengeance, and I for one missed the shit out of him.

Enjoy, and you're welcome for the sneak preview. Oh - yes, I got a broner.

UPDATE -- the link above doesn't seem to be working right 100% of the time, so start here if you can't click directly to the video.

Broner time

2008-09-22T20:05:00.001-07:00

The official Californication Countdown ticker is at 6 days, and anticipation is building. Showtime posted its behind the scenes teaser that gives us a look at what's to come in season two of the best show ever written, and I'm so fucking excited I'm almost considering calling my cable company to add Showtime rather than wait around for the pirated version to show up online each week...almost considering it.

After the recent barrage of life-imitates-art scandal from Duchovny, I'm guessing we'll be getting a season-long dose of vintage Moody. And you know I like my Moody vintage.

Behind the Music - GnR

2008-09-20T21:15:00.001-07:00

Guns N Roses VH1 's Behind The Music
by novosibirsk

On the predictability scale, this post probably ranks close to a 10/10. And it needs no exposition from me. Enjoy.

Bleeping Genius.

2008-09-15T20:33:00.000-07:00

I mean how do I NOT post about this? Awesome spot for Bud Light. As Arrested Development proved to all of us, bleeps are almost as funny as the real thing. You motherbleepers will really enjoy this.

Thanks to 5 Blogs Before Lunch for this. Great find. And they totally deserve that Emmy.

Sick skateboarding video

2008-09-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

This is pretty unbelievable. Speed. Nice. Thanks to Kyle for surfacing this on Twitter. Even though it was tweeted to Groovemonkey, I'm going to bite the tweet and show it here.

Let the record reflect that if I as much as stand on a skateboard it's possible and in fact likely that I will shatter an elbow or crack my skull. Me and wheel sports not so much. B-Gruck, however, is another matter entirely. He can already do several skate tricks and isn't yet 3 years old.

He was captivated by this video and we've watched it twice this morning already. So much better than Dragon Tales - Kyle, I owe you.

Adam Kimmel presents: Claremont HD from adam kimmel on Vimeo.

Game on

2008-09-10T20:42:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was a big one. It marked the culmination of what felt like an endless build-up - the anticipation had grown so much and the air had become so tense around my house that it was difficult to breathe at times. For me, the excitement was palpable. For my wife, it seemed that most of the time recently was filled with lots of general discomfort mixed with some outright pain. Then came the momentous event that made all the anticipation worthwhile; the ultimate pay-off...

NFL opening weekend.

Actually, I'm taking about the arrival of my second son, Mav (did your parents not like you or something?). Although the emotional build-up to kickoff weekend was pretty similar, but the NFL offseason doesn't inspire as many hormonal outbursts.

Anyway it's been a hectic few days, mostly for my wife, who went through major surgery (again) and is bed-ridden (again) for the next couple weeks. Kinda works out for me because everyone I know is bringing over food, and all of a sudden my spouse has a huge rack (again). Sounds like a win win. Then again the chestal region isn't so much for me as for Mav. And speaking of that selfsh monkey, I now find myself changing diapers at all hours of the night just because he "needs" to eat.

It's actually pretty awesome watching B-Gruck take the whole thing in, and he's embracing the big brother role quicker than Al Sharpton plays the race card. Check out some pictures here, and the video below. Warning: sappiness levels running high...

Careful on the roads this Labor Day weekend...

2008-08-29T11:17:00.000-07:00

Quote from a Mike's Hard Lemonade radio commercial just sent to me courtesy of Grucker T, who's now a free livin' man in Dallas, TX:

Mike's is hard
So is prison
Don't drive drunk

I mean, that's simple and direct advertising at its finest. Drink our shit, get all messed up, but clean up your act before you get on the road (or you'll become someone's prison bitch).

Nice.

Happy Labor Day weekend, don't get all fucked up and make bad decisions (about driving).

Guess Duchovny's Method

2008-08-29T08:43:00.001-07:00

Yikes.

I don't know if I'm impressed at the man's dedication to living the role, or curious that Tea Leoni isn't enough hot ass to keep the snake in its cage.

Although this kinda supports my thoughts on women and attraction and sex. I've stated this before (not going to link to it cuz I'm not searching through all my previous posts to find it) but it doesn't matter how hot a person is, once you're with her that becomes your normal. So any shenanigans and antics and chaos and crazy you're forced to put up with is just as bad whether you're dating your high school sweetheart or Halle Berry.

I invoke Halle's name specifically because it's accepted as fact that she's one of the hottest women in the world, yet she's been married and divorced like 12 times, and David Justice was convicted of actually beating her. (Maybe not convicted - I'm not researching this, just winging it as I go. In a hurry people!)

My point - if you're that hot and you're broken up with more often than you change the oil in your Range Rover - and beaten!! - you're crazy man. And no amount of hot can cancel out crazy. (Not to condone Justice - that dude's obviously a dick.)

How does this relate to Duchovny? I don't know. I got kinda lost for a minute. I think my point is that maybe Duchovny had reached his normal - didn't matter that he's married to Tea Leoni, he had to have some strange, and he had to have it all the time.

Yeah, those ideas don't really connect.

Well, at least Duchovny finished shooting Californication Season Two before he admitted himself. I'm counting on him staying in character. September 28th people.

AMC gets it - Mad Men all over Twitter

2008-08-21T15:06:00.001-07:00

Thanks to Brett for pointing me to Don Draper's Twitter account, which represents one of the coolest applications of a social media strategy I've seen yet. For those who don't know Twitter, it's a form of micro-blogging that's taken off in certain internet circles, and can be incredibly useful or self-indulgent or both, depending on your point of view.

Twitter had its coming out party at SXSW in 2007, and I was one of the skeptics who waved it off as a self-indulgent navel-gazing feature that catered to the narcissist in each of us. Blogging is annoyingly self-indulgent enough in its own right (as you know if you're reading this), and the idea that people have SO MUCH to say and are SO SELF IMPORTANT to need to communicate their every move to the world at all times just felt like overkill to me.

Cut to 18 months later when I've asked my whole family to sign up to receive "tweets" so they'll know if my wife and I have had our second baby. Because, you know, I can't be bothered to text message each of you. (Implied - phone calls are laughably not even on the table.)

Anyway, one of the hot business topics of the moment is the "social media strategy" and just what this means. The idea being that your company better have one, or else. I'm not going to get into what this means or how companies can begin to think about this, but at its highest level it means engaging folks using new media tools like blogs, Twitter, etc. and participating in a conversation with your customers rather than marketing at them.

Mad Men, arguably the best show on TV right now (second only to Californication), has recently created Twitter accounts for 4 of its main characters: Don Draper, Pete Campbell, Joan Holloway and Peggy Olson. Each character's tweets serve as an extension into the real world, and they're engaging with their fans in as real a way as I've seen yet.

UPDATE - since discovering the new favorite hangout of Sterling Cooper's creative team and adding them to my Twitter contacts this afternoon, already they're now following me too. Not only that, but Bobbie Barrett is following me too, and I hadn't added her to my contact list yet. To echo the sentiments above, as well as some others who have praised AMC's approach, great job by AMC of engaging its audience where they live and interacting with them in all the right ways.

ONE MORE UPDATE - Oooohhh, they're good. Draper responds to my welcome tweet below:

Stampede Beer - awesome idea, questionable spokesperson

2008-08-21T12:27:00.000-07:00

So I stumbled across a new beer the other day - Stampede. I've had time to gather my thoughts as best I can, and thought I'd share. I know the world is waiting with bated breath for my opinion on most topics pop culture and otherwise. I try.

First of all, my Stetson is off to Stampede for going after what I consider to be a huge market of health-conscious beer drinkers like myself who think Michelob Ultra tastes like three parts water one part piss but are learning the hard way that pint after pint of micro-brew isn't necessarily the best fit with their healthy lifestyle goals either.

Stampede on its website intro asks "If you believe it's better to...leave work an hour early to see your kid's baseball game, take the stairs instead of the elevator, give back to the community, reuse and recycle, make smarter choices...we agree. And if you drink beer, why not drink better beer?"

Smart. Who wouldn't agree with all those things? And who wouldn't want to drink better beer?

So, Lawrence Schwartz, I'm with you so far.

Then, Stampede launches a song that's pretty kick-ass for a brand anthem, and definitely better than your average jingle. It plays loud and evokes a hard rocking Foo Fighters / Buckcherry sound that puts your average beer drinking dude in the mood to tie one on. Smart.

Then, another smart decision - hire Jessica Simpson as your spokesperson. Pretty girls like her make men like me want to drink your beer, Stampede. Nice call.

Next up - let's position Jessica as a thinker, and cover her up in a jacket. Um, what? That's where you lose me. In her latest ad, seen above, Jessica can be found sitting in some hay with the phrase, "Be Smart, Drink Smart" floating out there in front of her. And by the way she's wearing a jacket.

Jessica Simpson is a lot of things, but smart? Not so much. I would guess that not a lot of people consult her before making important decisions about things that aren't their hair. Chicken of the sea ring any bells?

Anyway... I'm willing to overlook the Simpson-as-smart campaign and hope that maybe they've launched this ironically. Which would make it twice as awesome. And then again she is clearly smart enough to land a killer endorsement deal with what appears to be a very smart company, and that's more than I can say I've done. Jessica - 1, Maringuy - 0. And I'll be honest - maybe I'm just bitter about the way she treated Nick, which was total bullshit. He's sensitive. I mean have you listened to that album he wrote after the breakup? Dude was in pain!

I give Stampede Beer 4 out of 5 stars so far, and I haven't even tasted it yet. So they're doing something right on the marketing side. But any beer that has vitamins in it has to be good for you, right? I'm a believer. And the next time I'm in Texas, I will devote at least a week to field testing the product. Report to follow...

Operation STFD

2008-08-20T07:43:00.001-07:00

Wanted to disclose a stealth operation that's been in effect for some time, and provide a status update. Operation Slim The Fuck Down (STFD) was initially deployed in mid-June as a response to an onslaught of spring- and summer-induced drinking bloat (primarily outdoors), along with reckless barbecue consumption of the tri-tipular and sausage variety.

At a strategic level, Operation STFD is intended to secure the following long-term objectives:
- Measure 34, under which my natural jeans size will remain a comfortable size 34, and I won't have to buy bigger pants (and resort to Seinfeld-like doctoring of my jeans labels).
- Maximum Jog (strategic), the achievement of which will elevate endurance and subsequently distance of training exercises as a direct result of hauling less cargo.
- T-shirt Normal, which will see the resumption of comfortable t-shirt wearing without the "Superhero Effect," a phenomenon where all t-shirts fit skin-tight, producing a look that strongly resembles a superhero suit, only imagine that the superhero has replaced hours of ab work with a series of competitive beer chugging events. And the afore-mentioned rogue barbecue consumption. Not the best look.

At a tactical level, Operation STFD has entailed the deployment of several simultaneous activities specifically designed to produce such results. Two core activities comprise the bulk of the initiative.
- Maximum Jog (tactical), which requires a daily run of at least 2 miles, followed by a series of stretches not unlike a regimen popularized by Jane Fonda in the late 80s and early 90s.
- Minimum Booze, which as you may have already deduced involves limiting alcohol consumption to no more than ONE day or night per week. (OK sometimes two or three depending on what's going on - this one's a little flexible.)

Maximum Jog also includes a provision limiting weight room work - a corollary of reckless barbecue consumption has been increased shoulder and chest work, which in turn had amplified the Superhero Effect, resulting in the unintentional destruction of at least one jacket. (Think Fat Guy in a Little Coat.)

Operation STFD results to date include significantly increased lung capacity and brain functionality (especially on Mondays), and the ability to zip most jeans without applying techniques heretofore only used by Olivia Newton-John in 1970s films.

To date, Operation STFD should be considered a success. Additional resources are being authorized to funnel into the operation, and we'll be tracking at significantly elevated metrics for the remainder of the engagement period.

The RIAA shuts down Muxtape (for now)

2008-08-18T18:51:00.001-07:00

The RIAA shuts down Muxtape | Webware : Cool Web apps for everyone - CNET

UPDATE: VentureBeat has a pretty good take on this too...

ANOTHER UPDATE: Sarah Lacy agrees: Fuck the RIAA.

ANOTHER UPDATE: I like ARS Technica. Another take on the topic.

No bueno. Muxtape, as you know, is one of my favorite sites - and I'm not the only one. One of the things that drives me absolutely crazy is when old-school industries and large companies throw their weight around crushing innovative ideas instead of innovating outdated business models themselves.

This has been discussed to death in the blogs and I'm not going to rehash all the arguments here. I will say that I don't go to Muxtape to steal music. Nobody who's a fan of music does. Muxtape is awesome because of its discoverability; because I can see my buddy Kyle tweet about the Friday Muxtape he made to embody a specific mood, then I can listen to it and mock him mercilessly and suggest it's his way of coming out of the closet.

Muxtape is about communication, discovery, and yes - sharing new music. New music that I, like many others, have purchased after discovering it. A transaction that wouldn't have happened without Muxtape. If the RIAA shuts it down, that's just bad business. And pretty lame too.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Damn right

2008-08-16T10:15:00.000-07:00

One of the best ads I've seen in a long time. In case it's hard to read the smaller print, here's what it says:

He went out. He got two numbers in the same night. He drank cocktails. But they were whisky cocktails. Made with Canadian Club. Served in a rocks glass. They tasted good. They were effortless. Damn right your dad drank it.

Nice. I'm actually sitting here with my dad, and I believe this ad speaks the truth. He's told me some stories that put my own to shame (no small feat), and there are many more that he'll take to the grave (I have plenty of those too). This ad makes me think of those times for my dad, and for me, and smile, content in my own "we're not so different, you and I" moment.

Makes me want to cheat on Crown Royal with Canadian Club. I just might do it.

Californication - Season Two countdown is on

2008-08-14T23:17:00.000-07:00

There aren't many shows past or current that I can pop in and watch, the entire season at a time or a single episode, at absolutely any time, without ever being played out. In fact there's one: Californication, starring David Duchovny as Hank Moody, a self-loathing writer in the midst of a mid-life crisis, or, as his ex puts it, "drowning in a sea of pointless pussy."

But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Amazingly written and acted (and featuring an amazing soundtrack), Californication is neither whimsical nor heavy, but achieves the perfect balance of drama and comedy, with bonus points for poignancy.

I've discussed the show previously, but it's worth another mention now for two reasons. Reason one, the DVD is now available, and reason two, Season Two premieres on September 28th.

Whether you trust me even a little bit, or you know better than that, hear me now and listen to me later - pick up the DVD and and watch Season One (special sneak peek above), then subscribe to Showtime and watch Season Two (30-second trailer below).

And to satisfy the raging case of blue-balls you're sure to come down with between now and September 28th, subscribe to Matt Patterson's blog for the occasional behind the scenes look at production.

Smell ya later.

Um, yes

2008-08-12T12:51:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows my wife is aware of her infatuation with miniature horses. Actually it's kind of a borderline fetish. She wants one to live in our backyard and have free reign to come in and out of the house as it chooses. Normal? No. Not even close. But pretty cute.

Anyway, she's laid up on bed-rest and I'm playing hunter, gatherer and homemaker these past few weeks (explains the lack of content - my bad). I hear an elated yelp coming from the bedroom a minute ago, followed by the words "mini...horse!" between breathless gasps.

I turned on the TV just in time to catch the above, and it's true - she makes a man want to be a miniature horse. I think I need some Vitamin Water.

I pity the fool who cancelled Mr. T's new ad!

2008-07-31T15:36:00.001-07:00

This ad is real fucking funny. Unfortunately it's also real fucking canceled.

A spokesman for Mars said: ‘This ad is the second in a series of UK Snickers ads featuring Mr T, which are meant to be fun and have been positively received in the UK. However, we understand that humour is highly subjective, and it is never our intention to cause offence. Accordingly, we have pulled the Mr T speedwalker ad globally.’

I mean get over yourselves people. Maybe this ad mocks gays a lil' bit, I accept that. But it's not like it's vicious or mean, in fact it's actually quite clever. And technically it mocks speedwalkers, right? Not the most masculine activity, gay or straight. One could argue that rollerblading is an equally non-hetero activity, and The Most Interesting Man In The World seems to be doing just fine shaking his head at these clowns in his Dos Equis ads.

I remember a fruity speedwalker from my hometown growing up, and if I had the means to hire Mr. T to fire a shit ton of Snickers bars at this dude from a mounted machine gun on the back of a pick-up truck, you bet your ass I would have worked that out and enjoyed the hell out of it. And whether dude was gay or straight wouldn't have mattered a bit.

The only thing I hate more than senseless political correctness washing over everything is people who can't laugh at themselves. Not everything is meant to be taken seriously, or to the literal extreme. This ad is just funny, and anyone looking to make a moral case out of it should be given the same treatment as the ad's speedwalking subject.

Nearly all humor is at someone or something's expense. Get over yourselves people.

Bad Name!!

2008-07-23T14:32:00.001-07:00

Bad Name!!, originally uploaded by Maringuy.

Rocker shirt?

Wristband?

Long hair?

No pants?

Air guitar mastery?

Willingness to punish his body in the name of rock and roll?

Check, check, check, check, check and check.

Brody's showing all the signs of a future in the rock business - including the understanding that screaming the chorus to one hair metal song - in this case Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name" - during the chorus in another hair metal song - in this case some anonymous Winger song - really makes no difference to the end result.

It's all golden.

Ending with a big finish - the pillow dive - Brody has learned early to play to the crowd for maximum rewards.

Yes, this was a proud moment for me - but with Brody almost every moment is. (Woops - I just got real on you.)

Busey is uncorked

2008-07-22T16:15:00.001-07:00

I never thought I'd perpetuate corporate whoring in this way - besides actually being a corporate whore for past 10 or so years that is - but I doubt if Busey even realizes he's selling something here. I think at this stage for Busey, you can just point him in a direction and say "go!" and he'll pretty much talk until you tell him to stop. It won't necessarily make any sense - in fact odds are it will make NO sense - but it's still gold.

According to dropkickmonkey.com, these videos were the founders' idea!! They gave Busey some initial concepts and ideas and scripted some stuff for him - like, I'm guessing, all references to GotVMail - but much of what's here is apparently just Busey running wild. Dropkickmonkey.com says that was the beauty of the campaign - that "it wouldn't have worked as well if Busey wasn't allowed to run with it." Well no shit.

And I think it's awesome that the founders came up with this. Imagine an agency proposing this idea: "OK guys, so, the big idea. You ready? Here it comes. Viral videos that feature your brand...as represented by...GARY BUSEY!" Crickets. "I said, GARY BUSEY!" Crickets.

I applaud the founders for taking a risk that seems to be paying off. Who knows if anyone buys whatever GotVMail is selling (and Busey certainly isn't being tapped to articulate any value proposition), but there's no doubt this is building brand awareness on the back of Busey's utter insanity.

Anyway there are a bunch more equally scary / inspirational Busey ramblings in the "related videos" section on the right hand side of the youtube page for your viewing pleasure.

Enjoy yo'self some Tuesday Busey.

Guns N' Roses - Mr. Brownstone - CBGB, New York

2008-07-16T13:36:00.001-07:00

Just one of those days - in the mood for a little GnR after reading in yesterday's NYT (google it - I'm too lazy to link) that they - and by "they" of course I mean Axl and his band of posers - may actually be headed towards a release of Chinese Democracy (for real this time apparently - a song's bundled in the new Rock Band 2 video game). Anyway, read that action and clicked over to my favorite GnR live show ever - CBGB in New York.

I've posted the video to One in a Million from this show before, but I don't think I realized at the time that it was this CBGB show. Now that I've found the rest of the videos (or at least most of 'em - check out the right hand column of related videos on the YouTube page) it's like striking gold, only I get paid in great music only.

A couple things to watch for - the random mullets and other outstanding 80s-wear you'll see in the crowd (also apparent on the other videos), vintage Slash absolutely pounding from his bottle of Jack, and Axl cannonballing beer and cigarettes at every instrumental opportunity. GnR as they should be.

Enjoy!

And shit I can't help myself - here's Crazy, including some pre-performance chaos as the band prepares...

Byebye voicemail, and good riddance

2008-07-07T09:58:00.000-07:00

Voicemail is dead. To paraphrase Bob Sugar as he greeted Jerry Maguire after the memo but before firing him, "someone finally said it!" And in this case, that someone was Mike Arrington, which means millions of people will be listening. Many may not agree (people often disagree with Mike), but I'm glad this meme is now "out there."

It's possible that I'm the worst voicemail person ever. Anyone who has ever left me a voicemail will pretty quickly agree on this point. In fact the odds that I've listened to your message are approximately 0% (this doesn't mean I won't call you back if I see that you've called - I'm not an asshole - I just won't listen to your message).

I used to think this meant that I was a bad phone person, but that's not actually true - I'm an efficient phone person. Efficient probably equates to bad for many people who like to use the phone in a much different way than I prefer to use it, and I get that. I'm just not one of those people. For me, the phone is an efficiency tool. And voicemail is an extremely inefficient way to communicate.

Talking still works best for a ton of things - and should be used when it makes sense. Email can be terrible for delivering context, tone, meaning and intent. I've sent emails that to me seem pretty benign when I hit send, then set off a shitstorm when they're received. This has happened at work, with my wife, with parents - email isn't always the best way to communicate, and it can hurt more than it helps in many cases.

So to clarify, talking isn't dead - but I'm sure as shit not expecting anyone to respond to my voicemail, nor do I plan on responding to anyone else's. For years voicemail has felt so dated, especially when a simple text does the trick - and without the stammering "uh, well, um" verbal hiccups - and I'll respond within seconds.

My buddy Kyle wrote on this topic too. He says if you send an email he'll respond in minutes, a text maybe within an hour, and a voicemail expect two weeks. I echo that, but more extreme: I haven't checked my cell phone voicemail since the beginning of March. I can see who called using my caller ID, and I'm fully capable of deciding if I'm going to call back or not. If you text me, it's usually a pretty prompt reply, same with email.

Anyway, I could go on for days (as I could on most topics), but several paragraphs seems plenty - especially on a post about being efficient. Happy to hear your thoughts. And if anyone disagrees, leave me a voicemail.

Even boozehounds need goals

2008-06-20T08:31:00.001-07:00

Top 10 Drinking Achievements Before You Die

I was checking the headlines at one of my favorite news aggregators, popurls.com, and for some reason this headline caught my eye. It's actually been a pretty boozy spring so far in 2008, and I blame the weather. Usually we're blue balled in the bay area until well into late May - we'll get a hint of what summer might be like in March or so, then get dumped on sporadically for the next two months until a semi-permanent fog blanket settles in over southern Marin and San Francisco. For the seasoned all-weather drinker, weather barely factors into the equation when deciding whether to attack the deck at Sam's on a Sunday morning. I'll be damned if a little drizzle comes between me and a Sam's Lemonade or five.

But this year we've been blessed with some truly scorching heat waves. They've blazed their way through Marin, Sonoma, the peninsula and the the east bay, torching everything in their wake and making life more than a little uncomfortable for old people, kids left in cars, and lazy pets. But in San Francisco, it's been pleasantly and unseasonably warm, the environment and the social calendar coming together to create a perfect storm of sorts to inspire even the most casual drinker to get after it on a more than regular basis.

I guess what I'm getting at is if this is the global warming I've been hearing so much about, I'm kinda into it. I mean no, I'm not looking ahead to future generations and all that crap - I'll give you that. And living in the bay area it's easy to get sucked into all the negativity and alarmist reactionary hippie crap that's coming at us from all angles. But let's slow things down, take a half-full optimistic look at the situation and appreciate for a moment some of the benefits to the local drinking community that global warming brings:

- warmer weather means more time on outdoor drinking decks, like Pier 23, Sam's, and even the "ghetto Sam's" in San Rafael by the bowling alley (can't remember the name - but hear it's awesome).

- more fun at activities like the Union Street Fair, as with better weather the drinking community grows exponentially - and more casual drinkers means more fallout turfing options - everybody wins.

- less jeans and hoodies, more sundresses. It should be self-explanatory how this is a benefit.

- I get to wear my Larry Bird jersey way more often without being "that guy wearing a jersey in the thickest fog we've ever seen."

- more buzz and better attitudes - frankly people are happier when the weather's nice. It's no secret that Portland is the suicide capital of the world, or at least the west coast. I haven't really researched that one. But people off themselves all the time, and they're not even on a jihad or hoping to run into a shit ton of virgins for their troubles. They're just pissed about the rain.

Anyway my point is this spring has been awesome, and I've been enjoying the shit out of it. I'm actually toning it town considerably at this point, because apparently metabolism is something for people under 30 to have and enjoy, and consuming a few thousand empty calories three or four days a week has not been kind to the old physique. And I'm just not ready to become the fat funny guy in the group. Not yet.

So enjoy this list of 1o drinking achievements before you die, and consider knocking one off the list this weekend. I know I will.

Happy solstice, and may you find the perfect deck to drink on, wherever you might be.

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Snoop Dogg - My Medicine

2008-06-17T09:49:00.001-07:00

Sometimes you subscribe to email newsletters that provide value, and sometimes you need to pass that value along to the handful of folks who read your blog. This is one of those times.

Check out The Rundown at rundown.com if you're in the LA area and want the daily heads-up on cool random shit. Like a Daily Candy but for dudes in LA. Friend of a friend is running it so naturally I want to see him do well. Today's newsletter featured the best beer bars in LA, along with a link to the video above.

Snoop sports his Laker gear in the video, and I also broke out the vintage 1988 black satin Starter jacket to support the Lake show in a do or die game 6 on the road in Boston tonight. Snoop's gonna blaze to celebrate victory or mourn defeat...let's hope it's the former.

Californication - ready for season 2

2008-06-13T14:23:00.001-07:00

For those of you who live in a cave without premium cable or a Bittorrent connection, you're missing the best show to hit TV in the last 10 years. Or at least the most enjoyable. And to me there's very little difference - if I don't like something, it's gonna be hard to appreciate on a deeper level. If that's shallow of me, so be it. But fuck it, this is my blog so I'll take the last word. And all you need to know is that Californication gives me a broner.

Anyway, Californication - best show on TV. David Duchovny is pitch-perfect as Hank Moody, described best on the show's character landing page:

Famed novelist & NYC transplant Hank relocates to LA after his acclaimed book is optioned, but it later becomes a crappy romantic comedy, which sparks a horrible case of writer's block. He's struggling to get his career back on track with the help of his agent/best friend, raise his pre-teen daughter, all while pining for his ex-girlfriend, who is now engaged to another man. It may sound desperate, but he enjoys life and owns all his various vices — drink, drugs and women — with a refreshing sense of honesty and unapologetic candor. He's holding it together while falling apart, and he doesn't mind it one bit.

The rest of the cast is just as perfect - but writing about them all won't begin to do any of them justice.

This is a show that I literally cannot stop watching. I've seen every episode at least 10 times, and on the flight to New York last Friday afternoon, I watched the entire first season from start to finish and aside from almost going down over Wisconsin, I may as well have been my leather chair at home. Only on the plane I pushed a call button and a stewardess brought me another Heineken. So I had that going for me...which was nice.

And I'm not usually the guy to go door-to-door all Bible thumper-style trying to get my friends to watch or listen to shit that I like, but Californication is an exception. I've gone so far as to set up all the episodes on my own personal server and send instructions for download to people I think will enjoy it. And so far nobody has told me I'm full of shit. Duchovny even won a Golden Globe - for once maybe the red state morons won't win the battle against quality TV, and something good might stay on the air for a few seasons.

Anyway one of the show's writers or assistants (I'm not sure which), Matt, keeps a blog and is funny as balls. Up until a week or so ago, there had been no activity during the show's hiatus since the end of last season, but the RSS feed sits in my reader at the top of the list. The other night I almost shat my pants when I saw a little "1" sitting there next to the feed. I clicked over and read the first blog about the upcoming season, and then read it again. (I get kinda geeked up about a few things, and my favorite show is one of them.)

Matt asked readers to send in questions, and while I'm not the asshole who calls into So You Think You Can Dance to vote in my winners every night, I'm not against commenting on a blog I respect and enjoy - and Matt's blog certainly fits the bill on both counts. So I typed in my question, and went away. Specifically, I went to NYC on a 5-day bender of Moody-esque proportions.

Then this afternoon, I saw the little "1" pop up again, and I stopped directing marketing immediately and clicked through. It was a proud moment to see my question headlining the blog about my favorite show, and prouder yet to read the answer on the page. Much needed after the last two days I've had, and a great way to kickstart the weekend.

Thanks Matt, and can't wait for the start of season two.

As an added bonus for making it this far, note that Slash has decided to go off on his own while Velvet Revolver tries to find a lead singer to replace Weiland. Looking forward to hearing what he comes up with.

Jackpot: Guns N' Roses - Nightrain (Ritz, 1988.02.02)

2008-05-30T14:41:00.001-07:00

Wow. To quote Sam Elliot in The Big Lebowski, sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar eats you. Guess I just ate the bar.

Thanks to Grucker T for sending this link through. This is vintage GnR in their prime, live from the Ritz in 1988. (You'll notice several other links from this show on the right side of the page.)

Love the band's energy, love Axl's Thin Lizzy shirt, love the close-ups of Slash shredding his solo near the 4 minute mark, and love that having just read Slash's autobiography I have more context for this show, and for the band at this stage in their careers.

Just fucking awesome. Nice way to head into the weekend.

And as a footnote to bring it all home, this morning I had a meeting with an executive at Warner Music in Burbank. The office was incredible, and in her office in the middle of a shit ton of band shwag was a GnR barstool. This thing was incredible, and I couldn't talk her into parting with it (believe me I tried). She also had a figurine of Slash on her desk. And she also had wrist ink. I may have had a brush with the female me...

Enjoy Nightrain!

Southwest impresses, invokes Cube reference

2008-05-29T16:14:00.000-07:00

I usually refer to Southwest as a bus with wings. Their cattle call boarding style and relatively low fares that attract all manner of trailer park residents have created a frenzied gate atmosphere that's exacerbated by legions of morons who use words like "ain't" and throw out double negatives as if each one earned them points towards their next carton of Marlboro Reds. And then you have to sit next to these people, and smell them. In fact, Southwest is the primary reason I purchased noise-canceling wannabe DJ headphones that could probably power a small watercraft.

To be fair, I do enjoy said relatively low fares, they make check-in and baggage claim a snap, and they've taken steps to improve the cattle call boarding style by giving you numbers in addition to boarding groups. This eliminates squatting in the A section 90 minutes before boarding, which makes me want to throttle people.

Anyway...today Southwest impressed me. I got to the gate about 90 minutes ahead of time because I needed to do some work and I didn't want to be rushed and frantic heading onto the plane. Sweating through your shirt is not a fun way to improve your travel experience. So I arrive at the gate and see a row of leather chairs, complete with armrests and electrical outlets. And there were plenty to accommodate most of us who wanted to sit and get some work done.

I looked around to make sure I wasn't about to be forcibly removed from some exclusive red carpet club, and then double checked for handicapped or old people signs. Nothing. Looked like these luxury lounges were created just for me. So I sat down, stretched my shit out, rested all kinds of personal items on the armrest, plugged in all my gear, and actually had a productive hour of work and streaming porn.

The flight itself was a breeze, my bag rolled off baggage claim third in line, and I'm now in the Burbank airport lounge drinking a seven dollar Stella that almost feels worth it after the awesome travel day I've had. Oh - and did I mention that they opened up a new security line as soon as I got in line, I wore my sunglasses and shoes through the checkpoint, and they neglected to search my bag or take my lighter?

I didn't even have to use my AK. I gotta say, today was a good day.

New wristband

2008-05-24T17:30:00.000-07:00

Closing in on the first 24 hours with my new tattoo. I love it. I've always been a wristband guy, and I'm glad the execution of the idea lived up to the concept in my head. The background below, and some photographs of the process.

BGB = B-Gruck's initials.
BMB = Number 2's initials, Beckett Maverick - he's en route, 6 months down and 3 to go.
The stars = wanted to connect the top and underside of my wrist, and loved the stars inked all over Jeremy, the artist who inked me.

No, I'm not worried about jinxing the arrival of Number 2 by inking his initials before he's here. We've already been through enough with this pregnancy, and come out the other side with hard evidence of a healthy baby boy. And superstitious crap doesn't spook me.

Enough talk, let's get to the action:

The ink I didn't get (but kinda wanted to). Wife, you owe me.

And here we go. Jeremy was awesome, as was the whole Spyder Murphy's team.

Jeremy went outline first, then filled in the letters. The top of the wrist wasn't too painful...

But the underside of the wrist stung a bit. A few pre-game Stellas helped.

As you can see...

On to the stars...

Almost done...

And BAM!

Boom!

Finding reasons to look at my wrist all day.

Love it. Thanks again to Spyder's for doing a killer job, and to my wife for going along with this and pretending to like it. Up next - a tattoo about her. Thinking a Rabbit with fangs - this will make sense to anyone who has come into contact with my wife after a few Crown Royals. She's a biter.

Soliciting ideas for the next one after that...

2008-05-24T00:07:00.001-07:00

Enjoying "Three Sheets Gibraltar" with a Bud Light. Played some Wii with Neighbor Dave, welcomed Night One of the three day weekend in fine fashion. Enjoy the long one people, catch you on Tuesday if not sooner.

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My new favorite NFL player: Chris Cooley

2008-05-22T09:53:00.000-07:00

I'm probably late to the party on this one. I've always been a half-ass Skins fan - my best friend Spencer was born in DC so when he moved to California we always followed his team. And when the Niners sucked it up the greater part of the last 10 years, the Skins have presented at least a shitty alternative to be disappointed in.

Chris Cooley, the Skins tight end, has been a pretty productive player and he always seems to be in the end zone - he's a nice fantasy football addition, and he always seemed like a cool dude. But then I read this. And this. And this. And now I feel like I absolutely need to hang out with Cooley or, as he nicknamed himself, Captain Chaos.

It's paragraphs like this, written in the third of the above-referenced pieces, that help me picture the two of us in a slowed down movie-sequence moment, sinking the final two cups, back to back, to close out a game of beer pong:

We went through a lot of weird stuff, but it never fazed either of us. Maybe her dad brainwashed me one of the nights I passed out at her house, because no matter what happened, I was crazy about her. More likely it was her mom, since I was usually trying to impress the old man by drinking him under the table.

His personal blog is pretty solid - he's more than your garden variety meathead - and he further inculcated himself into my dude hall of fame with this post that touches on a few shared interests: man caves, drinking, and poker.

Anyway, Cooley seems like a cool dude - if he keeps up the blogging, he could join the ranks of Paul Shirley - and I'm sure everyone in the Alpha Beta fantasy league will be pleased to know who Team FYOA will choose in the first round this year.

FOTC - Ladies of the World

2008-05-16T10:53:00.000-07:00

It's Friday, and the bay area is experiencing "unseasonably warm weather" (so unseasonable that it was deemed "excessively hot"). This means even if you create a wind tunnel in your home out of a combination of open doors and ceiling and floor fans, you might still lie awake sweating until 3am. Which is cool because it's better than fog, but not really so cool because sleeping is nice. I believe that lying awake sweating when you'd rather not be should be reserved for people in deserts or on coke binges. The two can be combined if you're in Vegas.

Anyway it's hot as balls, but that's a good thing because tomorrow is the SF Oyster Fest at Fort Mason, and my friends, it's looking like drinking weather.

I'll leave you with an end-of-the-week treat - the new video from Flight of the Conchords. Enjoy, and happy weekending!

Labor of love

2008-05-12T23:23:00.000-07:00

There aren't many people I can call at 7pm on a Friday night to come "help me" install a ceiling fan in my bedroom. I say "help me" in finger quotes because I don't bring much to the party besides 4 beers an hour (consumed, not offered) and a shit ton of sarcasm. Luckily, Teddy is one such person I can call at 7pm on a Friday to come "help me" install a ceiling fan. Even if it will take hours and require previously undiscovered levels of patience.

Let the record reflect that I had no interest in putting in a ceiling fan for precisely this reason - I suspected it would be difficult and take a long time, and I argued that because we have approximately 17 rotating floor fans in the garage we could devise some way to keep cool this summer (as we have done for the past seven years).

But...the wife went on a rogue Home Depot trip and picked up the ceiling fans and a couple braces that apparently were supposed to be placed in the crawlspace somehow. With the bill of materials already taken care of, any choice for yours truly had been removed from the matter. So I called on Teddy to make it all happen, and needed only to bribe him with the last honest pizza, size extra large, and all the beers he could handle.

And so it was that at approximately 7:30pm on Friday evening, Ted fully inserted himself into my dark and forbidding crawlspace, boldly going where no man had gone before. It was to be a dirty job, but a rewarding one.

Here we see Teddy extricating himself from said crawlspace. Apparently it was a little dirty up there. I think I was on my third beer at this point. In my defense, when I mentioned that I wanted to contribute, Teddy paused before letting me know he needed someone to hand him tools.

So hand him tools I did. And by tools of course I mean Pacificos. Lucky for Teddy, that's a Pacifico-sized hole right there. In retrospect, a case of Pacificos may have slowed us down a bit.

Teddy brushing himself off between missions. Did I mention this was a 5 hour job?

It may look light in this picture, but don't let the wonders of flash photography fool you. And yes, of course we started this debacle about 30 minutes before it got dark. I suppose the wife has been keeping 4 mag-lites in the house all these years in anticipation of this project.

Soon all the small creatures had tired of our antics. B-Gruck is sleeping under that blue blanket.

We were almost derailed by a shithammered Neighbor Dave, who staggered in to keep his party rolling at around 10pm. He helped by playing Crossbow on the Wii and occasionally popping in to hold a flashlight or hand one of us a screwdriver. He was invaluable. In the end, it was apparently worth it. Behold below the completed masterpiece:

Never mind the shorted out circuit connected to the light switch on the wall that controls this puppy. We won't detract points for the fact that said switch went up in blue flames when we flipped the power back on. Now we have an excuse to use those dangly things.

So only 5 hours and approximately 20 beers later, we were living large under the refreshing breeze that only a ceiling fan can produce. And it's pretty awesome. As usual, the wife knows. Dammit.

God is so web two point oh

2008-05-09T09:32:00.000-07:00

Go ahead and file this under "things I thought I'd never endorse in any way whatsoever" - but I'm about to talk about GodTube, and the clip I'll embed below is actually...funny. I had a moment similar to when John Cusack caught those punk kids robbing his store, then had to admit to himself that their music was good - so good that he wanted to produce it. Similarly, I stumbled onto GodTube while reading BoomTown, and I have to agree with Kara - this shit is really hip and funny. More from Kara:

GodTube, which describes itself as a Christian video-driven social-networking site, “where users find inspiration, interact, chat, share and upload” Christian video, has about 2 million users per month.

GodTube also lets churches stream sermons and other events live on its “Godcaster” subscription service.

Also, its motto is “Broadcast Him,” but GodTube also calls itself “Jesus 2.0.” Get it?

So, I guess, props to the Big Guy for dropping a viral video on that ass. God, you are SO web two point oh.

Enjoy the video below.

Muxtape - it's the balls

2008-05-08T11:29:00.000-07:00

Sarah Lacy's husband, Geoffrey Ellis, guest-blogged about my latest obsession today. And he summed it up perfectly. I won't even try to add to it because it's exactly in lock-step with my own feelings on the matter.

I will add that I hung out with Hammer last night, and we drive the same brand of vehicle. (I don't know if this is a good thing.) We do not wear the same type of pants. (I know for sure this is a good thing.)

Oh - my muxtape is here, and Geoffrey's is here.

Summary - muxtape is fucking awesome. Go get hooked now.

Oh - and if you're hooked but you absolutely need to see what songs are on each mix before clicking, click here.

Texting your way to love

2008-04-28T06:59:00.000-07:00

I have spent a lot of time thinking about how dramatically technology has changed the nature of relationships and the communication that takes place at each stage of the dating process. I mean, it's really unbelievable how things have changed. Seven or eight years ago when I was most recently single (although this weekend things came close to an unwanted return to that lifestyle - different story for another time) text messaging was strictly for early adopters and Koreans, and social networks were in their infancy. Friendster anyone?

I actually had to put myself out there and talk to a girl using my voice if I wanted to see her with no pants on. Thanks to the miracle known as texting, hook-ups these days can be initiated or proposed completely consequence free to several people at once! It's pretty awesome.

Anyway I won't launch into a social commentary on the benefits and consequences of our technological advances to the courtship process, but I will share a quick anecdote that points to at least one benefit technology has had on my own life. When I first met my wife, she was a little wary of actually going someplace alone with me - probably didn't trust herself not to jump on me - so instead we spent a couple weeks on IM before I was able to trick her into meeting "us" for drinks (I never told the other dude who would have made up the "us" part, and that was that). Without being able to use IM to drop mad humor and prove I was more than just a pretty face, it could have taken forever to figure out how to get a date with the wife, or more likely I probably would have never seen her again or gone back to my ex or something else that involves terrible decisions.

I now point you to the following video (thanks to 5 Blogs Before Lunch for unearthing) that is possibly the finest way to spend six minutes that you'll come across all week. Yes, it's that good. Check it out here:

Really? Mudflaps?

2008-04-26T14:20:00.001-07:00

Got pulled over by the CHP today on Park Presidio on the way to the zoo. Was ready to do battle over possibly going 37 in a 35, but instead got cited for mudflaps. Well, not cited specifically. I got cited for not having my front plate on the car. However the officer's focus was clearly on my vehicle's lack of mudflaps.

"Sir, are you aware that you don't have mudflaps on this vehicle?" Um, yes, because I've never put them on.

After taking my license, writing up a fix-it ticket for the front plate (apparently keeping it under the floormat doesn't cut it), and making me lift up my shades to verify that I am indeed myself, the very butch officer IronJaw pointed out for the third time that I don't have mudflaps.

At this point I was over the mudflap discussion and frankly a little tweaked that it was taking away from our zo time. The hippos need me. I inquired whether this was mandatory according to state law, or just a friendly suggestion from a CHiP with a rubber fetish. I was told that it would be "a courteous thing" if I got mudflaps. The very butch officer IronJaw then informed me she would not cite me for lack of mudflaps.

Hmmm...won't cite me. Because it's NOT ILLEGAL???

Un fucking believable.

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Dude

2008-04-24T20:26:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day. We found out that baby boy number 2 is healthy after an early week scare, and it's really like a weight has been lifted. I don't know who made the call that every pregnancy of ours has to be extra hard and full of curveballs - with B-Gruck we were told he would have a cleft palate at the 20 week ultrasound, then left to sit with that bomb for about 6 weeks. Worth it though to know that everything is OK at this point in the pregnancy (20-ish weeks).

Anyway. There are few better ways to wind down a hard week than with a beer or ten, which I'm doing right meow. This is, coincidentally, a happy and not at all contrived segue into a couple beer brands' ad campaigns I can't get enough of right now:

First is Dos Equis' Most Interesting Man spots. Apparently these have been around for at least a year - Euro RSCG developed a series of the spots in April 2007 - although I swear I haven't seen one until just this past week. And I watch plenty of TV. This guy is just awesome, and for some reason the line "he's a lover not a fighter...but he's also a fighter so don't get any ideas" kills me every time. And "on every continent of the world there is a sandwich named after him" - are you kidding me?? Incredible.

Apparently I'm not alone in my love for the Most Interesting Man. According to market research by Millward Brown, the TV ad is in the top five percent of most enjoyable ads in U.S. research history, posturing the Most Interesting Man to become pop culture’s next brand-recognized advertising icon.

And according to WebWire, "The advertising campaign captures the Most Interesting Man’s witty advice, colorful commentary and incredulous tales of past experiences. With an unmatched suave and distinguished charisma, the Most Interesting Man appeals to the key Dos Equis consumer – adult men who live or aspire to live “interesting” lives."

I'm all in.

The second beer campaign I'm all over is Bud Light's Dude Madness. The commercials are topped only by the website - any site that can get B-Gruck to repeat "dude" for 45 minutes and giggle maniacally is two thumbs as far as I'm concerned. The "call of the dude" feature lets you call friends with variations of the word dude, then follows up with a text message. And as any connoisseur of the word knows, the "I'm Maverick YOU'RE Goose" dude is a totally different animal than the "it was me that ripped one in the elevator" dude.

Love dude madness. And also love Lebowski. And also love the Monkey. So as luck would have it, your reward for making it through my babble this far, as discovered by the Monkey, is the following Lebowski dude madness:

Wallflowers - WTF?

2008-04-22T22:26:00.000-07:00

I've been on a huge Wallflowers kick for the past couple years since downloading their whole collection from a friend of mine. He had a goldmine of music with something obscene like 50,000 songs on his massive hard drive, and among this treasure trove were complete collections from John Mellencamp, Bob Dylan and The Wallflowers (among others). These are all artists I like a lot, but had never been die-hard enough to really commit to building the complete library. Now it was a no-brainer.

So I've been listening to a ton of Wallflowers lately. I always knew their big songs from the "Bringing Down the Horse" album - One Headlight, 6th Avenue Heartache, Three Marlenas, etc. - but had never given their other albums much of a listen. They're incredible.

So then my question became "why haven't they huged?" (Shout out to my man Andy for introducing me to the concept of turning the adjective huge into a verb. He huged.) I mean they had one 4x platinum album, followed that up with a gold album, and basically never hit the charts again after that (unless you count the cover of Heroes for the movie Godzilla, which I don't). But aren't they better than that? Have they just stopped producing radio friendly shit? Am I the only one who wonders why they haven't ever really blown up again (since Horse)?

I mean, they definitely mini-huged after Horse, and played big events with big names like The Boss joining them onstage:

A quick glance through articles written about The Wallflowers and Jakob Dylan over the past 10 or so years reveals that critically at least they're perceived to be writing great material, performing well, and "growing up" - whatever that means. Headlines include the following:

- Wallflowers continue to blossom musically
- Wallflowers make solid rock n' roll, if not history
- Wallflowers latest shows Dylan's growth
- Wallflowers show they've stuck around for a reason
- Staying on the road helps Wallflowers grow
- Comeback? The Wallflowers never went away

Although the last headline gets to what I'm talking about - that they seem to have disappeared from the music consciousness even though in reality they've continued to put out albums and tour.

A quote from a recent review of a live performance is pretty brutal: "...what came across loudest was that the huge success of 1996's Bringing Down The Horse was a fluke." That seems a little harsh, no?

Let's look at the band. Jakob Dylan is Bob Dylan's son. So that's not a bad place to start (although that children of the stars music show is quite literally unwatchable). I mean Bob Dylan is OK. And Jakob is (I've been told) pretty good looking. His voice is money and he writes songs that don't suck. He also doesn't seem like a total douchebag. His band is also real good, and they have a sound that's described as having "pop hooks and Memphis soul roots." They recently lost their organ player to the Foo Fighters, and it can be argued that the organ was one of the true differentiators musically.

But still. Whatever it is that's held them back, I don't get it.

Jakob Dylan would seem to agree with me, quoted in 2005 saying he doesn't know why Horse was so much bigger than its subsequent releases, which have all been just as good and sometimes better.

Maybe it really is all about luck, trends, and the marketing machine.

Anyway, I'm really digging The Wallflowers. Check 'em out (again).

A great sandwich makes everything OK

2008-04-22T13:36:00.001-07:00

Michael's Sourdough - the mother of all sandwiches. Loving it. Loving it real hard. I'm having a rare work from home day, and taking advantage of the opportunity to grab one of these during business hours. On a tastiness scale of 1-10, Michael's is at least a 14. As you might guess from the name, they bake their own sourdough bread on the premises. They also have a proprietary mayo spread that I'd kneecap you for if it came to that.

I'm in my happy place, and it is full of great sandwich. Thought you should know.

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Beer thirty please

2008-04-18T15:03:00.000-07:00

Been a long week at the old officina. And by long I don't even mean bad, which is usually what one means when they call something long in a work context. Other things are better longer obviously, and get your mind out of the gutter because I'm talking about weekends and those extended 30 Rock episodes that last 40 minutes instead of 30. And ethernet cords. Those are good long.

Anyway, the week has been long. Sunday we hit up our first Giants game with Brody (pictures here), then had dinner with some kick ass people at a kick ass sushi place. And that feels like it happened in 1983. Monday night I was sitting up on the couch at midnight hitting the refresh button so I'd know when TechCrunch posted on the launch of our Facebook application, which they finally did. At 1:32. That feels like, I dunno, 1985 maybe.

I could go on and on - every day had its own brand of length that combined to make me feel like Navin Johnson by Friday afternoon at 3:13:

I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half.

Sorry for quoting so heavily, I just get depressed when people don't get my Fletch references, so I can only imagine that going The Jerk on you may be a little deep. Then again I probably don't have to set a whole lot up for my audience of three who have all known me since, well, 1983.

Anyway...I'm ready. for. the. weekend. (aside - a new thing to hate is when people try to force a specific inflection on a reader by adding periods after words to help one arrive at how to read said words. really. fucking. annoying.)

But it's been a long one. Lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta strands in duder's head. The Gruckers are in town this weekend, it's a friend of mine's birthday, and The Deuce can expect to take a beating at our expense in about 29 hours. So, no real point to this one except to say that in 6 minutes it's officially beer thirty for this guy, and I invite you all to join me in raising a glass and toasting to a much-deserved weekend.

See ya out there. Also, peep this mix of the song Lazy Eye, one of the best songs of the last 5 years:

2008-04-14T12:01:00.001-07:00

Role modeling. Sometimes it means your two and a half year old son commands you to draw an S on his arm just like daddy's.

My bad.

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Fashion crimes - guilty...or am I?

2008-04-10T08:52:00.001-07:00

According to the Boston Globe, I'm guilty of at least one fashion crime. Shouldn't hurt that much, but it kinda does. It's a staple - the Double Tee. See below.

Remember Jason Bateman's character in "Juno"? Exactly.
Why it's a fashion crime: Once the go-to look of Sundance Film Festival attendees and indie rockers from cold climes, this combination is officially past its freshness date and is now being sported by every would-be-hipster and tot under 10.

Fuck that noise. I love my double tee, and I'm actually wearing one right now for oh, the fourth day this week (for those not reading this on Thursday, April 10th, that's four out of four days this week). I argue that because I say fuck that noise and don't give a shit that the Globe thinks I'm not stylish, that actually makes me MORE stylish because I don't care and wear my double tee anyway (with my designer jeans and great shoes).

And not that I really give a shit even though clearly I do (shout out to Grucker G), I just got confirmation from several unnamed sources that my "look," as it were, is accomplishing all the right things. N-tss n-tss.

Moral of the story? I WIN. Who's the big winner? Mikey. Mikey wins.

And for the record, the rest of the fashion crimes mentioned in the Globe - the dad jean, the fleece vest, the pleated khaki, and the nightlife uniform - are all pretty spot-on. But I do take exception to this sentence about the nightlife uniform:

"get rid of the flare jeans with the crazy pocket stitching. When it comes to jeans, think skinny, dark, and simple."

The day you see me in skinny hipster jeans will be the day I take my own life.

Shout out to Dan Tobin for having a sick blog that I read all the time and writing about this so I could find it on his blog, go to the Globe, read it myself, and get really pissed. Thanks Dan. In related news, Dan has my dream job.

Nice beaver

2008-04-09T13:02:00.000-07:00

Anytime I can poach a Frank Drebin quote to title a blog post, I'll take it. That's just how I roll. I don't have many rules, but that's one of them and I try to live by it. Anyway I think the world needs to be exposed to a couple videos I came across - maybe you can guess the theme. So we'll start with my little blog world that includes probably Iceman and the Gruckers at best, and maybe just a Grucker at worst. I dunno, I don't really use "tracking tools" to measure how many people read my blog, and I know I've gone on random sabbaticals with no warning, and I hear leaving people in the lurch with no explanation isn't good for driving reader loyalty.

Enough talk, on to beaver videos!

I was directed to this video by Adrants:

And from there, I was time-sucked right on over to a Molson spot on a similar topic:

(Molson has a second, more direct beaver shot that isn't linkable from YouTube, but can be giggled at by clicking here.)

Since this is clearly a topic to intellectualize, let's take a moment to mentally grapple with the representation of beavers in each spot. In the first spot, the beaver is clearly something to be adored and put on a pedestal - and it's designed to speak to women and no doubt elicit a chuckle from men as well. A win win if you don't count feminists or PETA extremists.

The second spot is less tongue in cheek, and more direct - angry beavers will fuck you up, so don't heckle their Canadian owners for ordering Molson.

I was actually about to end this post, but shit. We've come this far, let's go ahead and take the beaver innuendo way over the line in a blatant way:

Ok there we go. Now that's done.

Can't really end this post without bringing it full circle, so enjoy the clip below and give Leslie Nielsen his props for being a funny motherfucker.

Counting Crows with B-Gruck

2008-04-06T20:13:00.000-07:00

Going to your first concert is a pretty momentous occasion, no? For me it was Guns N' Roses. In 1988. I was 11.

For Brody, it was Counting Crows. This afternoon. He's not quite two and a half.

Guess who rocked harder?

What kind of a parent takes their two and a half year old to a rock concert, you ask? This guy. And actually it was a perfect situation for a little man to experience his first taste of the rock and roll lifestyle: 4pm start time, in the immaculate Apple Store (as opposed to a divey shitbox with an inch of beer and a layer of peanut shells coating the floor), manageable crowd size (no trampling risk), and a tolerable decibel level so as not to explode his little eardrums or scare him to death (see: Blue Angels flyovers during Fleet Week on a roof deck...my bad).

It was an awesome day. After I told him about the concert when we woke up (at 5:30am), Brody sent the whole morning demanding "we go see Counting Crows now Daddy!" Then he stood in line for 2 hours with no complaints while holding his little guitar, waited patiently while the Crows took their time getting on stage, and within seconds of the first chord had taken his shirt off and cleared a space to rock out for the next 90 minutes.

Today's show was the wife's first extended out of the house adventure in months, as she seems to have finally turned the corner and head out of the 24-7 pregnancy sickness. She made it through without puking anywhere, and described the afternoon as "perfect." That's a win.

More pictures from the day follow below, see the complete set at Flickr:

UPDATE: a video posted by SF Weekly featuring Mr. Jones, and a little Q&A session with Adam. Enjoy...

2008-04-05T21:33:00.001-07:00

Three Sheets-induced solo drinking session has escalated. After a semi-heated day-booze at my brother's place watching the NCAA tournament, then a 3 hour break while driving home and doing Brody's bedtime routine, the mini-shampoo effect has kicked in and I...am...lit. Three sheets indeed.

Show me the monkey!

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2008-04-05T21:13:00.001-07:00

Saturday night...and I'm home watching Three Sheets and drinking along with Zane and Pleepleeus. And, of course, eating soup. And I'm loving every minute of it.

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'98 to '08: What we lost along the way | Crossfade: The CNET music blog

2008-04-03T15:10:00.001-07:00

'98 to '08: What we lost along the way | Crossfade: The CNET music blog - Download.com Music

I subscribe to this blog - several people from CNET contribute to it - and this post I thought was particularly interesting. I actually spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about how technology has changed our lives - mostly my thinking focuses on how awesome it would have been to have been able to text message chicks when I was in high school and college, and how easy kids have it these days: I mean, the consequence-free 2am request for free ass? Are you kidding me?? Anyway. I think about these things is my point.

Donald Bell, who's about my age, gets into the ways MP3s have changed our behavior, and the way we listen to music. He makes many strong points, and if you're not planning to read the article, these are among the ones I agree with:

- Borrowing music was cool. Donald points out that lending music meant face to face interaction and cool conversations, and today sending links or copying stuff is far less personal.

- No more liner notes and artwork. Totally. Donald talks about feeling ripped off if the lyrics weren't included in the album cover, and I remember feeling that exact same way. It took me forever to find the lyrics to Eternal Flame by The Bangles. Um...woops...forget that last sentence and replace it with a similar sentence about Motley Crue.

Donald also touches on used music and music as furniture - going to someone's house and seeing what they listened to because it's on display. Which I loved. Only I kinda like now when you borrow someone's iPod, stream their library at work, or are in a car on a road trip and they get off the primary playlist. Checking out someone's play count is always fun...

So I tend to agree with most of his points - but I also feel like discovering new music faster and being able to get at it quicker and easier (and in many cases cheaper - or free) is a good thing in that I'm more likely to go to a concert because I'm able to better assess whether I'll like the band. And then in turn there are many good conversations to be had at said concert.

Also, more people have access to a band's music, so maybe a smaller band that only a handful of people would have otherwise heard of can now tour on the strength of a more distributed fan base across the country and expose itself (not in open-your-raincoat kind of way) to even more potential fans.

And as far as lending music and the conversations that ensue - that's very true. But I find myself still the "recommendation engine" for lack of a better term, to most of my friends and family. And because I'm able to use the internet to find and source more music more quickly, I can have more conversations about the recommendations I make, and expose them to a wider variety of stuff than if I had to go buy it all myself (which I wouldn't).

ANYWAY...interesting post, great discussion, and wanted to share. Happy Thursday...

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I knew I liked Heineken for a reason

2008-04-01T16:38:00.000-07:00

Until today, that reason could have been "because I sometimes enjoy drinking beer that tastes like piss." Not to say that Heineken is piss - or that I would know what piss tastes like - but sometimes, just sometimes, Heineken can take on a particularly skunky taste. I don't know how I'd describe it, and maybe it's more a function of my own system being a little off, like when sushi tastes bad or you can't really eat rice because a cold is setting in or you're a month pregnant (girls only).

ANYWAY...was reading an ad blog this afternoon and came across the below. The next time I get arrested, I'd like to request the squad that rolls in 1970s muscle cars with hot chicks in party wagons. Much sexier than the standard issue black and white patrol cars full of assholes trying to meet an arrest quota...

See below.

New York Pizza - damn fuckin' tasty

2008-04-01T10:23:00.000-07:00

Another awesome commercial. But don't expect to see this one during prime time sitcoms...

Carry on little Asian girl

2008-03-30T20:19:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Groovemonkey for surfacing this fucking incredible performance from what appears to be the awesomest piano recital ever. This shit never happened at my Suzuki recitals. I can barely get through this song on medium in Guitar Hero - this is pretty impressive. Enjoy.

A Yelp dilemma

2008-03-30T13:59:00.000-07:00

I find myself in an interesting spot, thanks to Yelp. I'm not a huge Yelper. You've probably picked up on the fact that brevity isn't one of my strong suits, and frankly trying to make sure this blog has a heartbeat is plenty of work on its own. As much as I'd enjoy the satisfaction of having the "Elite 08" badge under my profile, i just haven't totally jumped in yet. Although out of 7 total reviews I already have one Review of the Day under my belt, so if I were the collar popping type I'd, you know, pop my collar. God that's lame.

Anyway, here's the situation.

I work within 100 yards of an awesome Mexican place called Los Socios. I go there at least once a week, sometimes 5 times a week, and finally I decided to grace it with my two cents in the form of a Yelp review. You can read the review here, I'll wait.

Not bad, right? I gave it 4 stars, led with the line "so much good and so very little bad," and followed up with "above all else, the food stands on its own. It's great." I then proceeded to write a review. A review, as far as I know, means I write my thoughts on the place based on my experience there, and I include the good and the bad. Yes? OK.

So when a coworker asked me in the elevator the other day if I had done a Yelp review of Los Socios, I assumed she had looked me up because she knows who I am, and read it. End of story. I was wrong.

Turns out she had been picking up a takeout burrito and the owner asked if she knew who at my company had written a review of her place. She didn't sell me out on the spot, probably cuz she wasn't sure it was me yet, but she figured it out pretty quickly and called me on it. Turns out the owner was pretty pissed at my review - she apparently perceived the 4 star treatment as a bad thing. She took specific issue with my complaints - nowhere to stand without feeling awkward, and I hate being chip rationed. She doesn't have to agree with me, or change anything about her restaurant - I was just pointing out my own personal issues with her restaurant's layout and chip distribution policy.

But here's the thing - now she may have it in for me. In my mind, I gave one of my favorite Mexican places a great review. In her mind, I ripped her chip management system and floor arrangement.

Now I never thought the owner of the place would actually read the review I wrote - although I suppose it's pretty easy to set up a feed of all new Yelp reviews and have those delivered to a reader or an email box. Anyway it wouldn't have changed a single word of what I wrote, and I still think it's a glowing review.

But can I still eat there? Will she know who I am based on my profile picture? Will it affect my service? My food itself? They make the food in front of you so I'm not so worried about things finding their way into my burrito that aren't native to the burrito environment, and I don't think the people there would do that anyway - as I say in my review they're all very nice.

I think I chance it - I'm going in tomorrow, and I'll be sure to report back if anything out of the ordinary happens, or if there's some kind of physical confrontation between me and the waitress. And now that I know there's a chance of my reviews actually reaching the ears of the people who matter, I'm going to keep on Yelping too.

Dude

2008-03-28T08:52:00.000-07:00

Dude.

The business side of me says that anytime you get your customers to talk about your ads - and share them with friends and on their blogs - you're doing many things right.

The party side of me just reflexively booked tickets to Vegas tomorrow.

The part of me that has a gambling addiction just logged into Sportsbook.com.

Dude.

Geeking out on new Counting Crows

2008-03-25T10:33:00.000-07:00

So yes, I'm the guy who has every Counting Crows album since the early 90s; has collected import CDs and radio performances; occasionally trades on the Counting Crows trading network with other music dorks; and has gone on several man-dates to Crows concerts with my buddies. Sure the man-dates have been accidental - i.e. we didn't realize until we were sharing a blanket at Shoreline drinking Coors Light just the two of us that we were on a man-date - but that excuse really only covers you the first time, right?

Moving on.

I love the Crows. And people often think that this means they get a free pass because I get so geeked up to hear the new albums that I'll dig anything they put out. I argue it's the opposite - my expectations are so high, and I have so many awesome memories tied to Crows songs - concerts, car rides, break-ups, business time, etc. - that I'm actually twice as hard on the band as your casual fan. I feel like Duritz owes me his best, and I've heard he's kind of a typical rock star dick now so I have to fight the urge to be pissed that he's not as cool a dude as I imagine Dave Grohl to be, and am pretty sure he is (the Monkey shared a great Grohl story at SXSW - but that's for another time).

Anyway, the new album, Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings is, in my opinion, their strongest album since Recovering the Satellites. Duritz has apparently gone down some crazy life paths since the release of the last album that wasn't live or a best-of compilation. And that's been 6 years. I think Hard Candy was 2002. Now I'm not speaking from experience here, but a man can indulge in a lot of vices and tackle a shit ton of personal demons in 6 years' time. And this sounds like Duritz's most inspired album maybe ever - the emotion is there, each track is pretty solid, and after only one full listen I'm ready to anoint this top 3 status in the Crows' catalog (which I realize isn't that extensive) behind August (duh) and Recovering the Satellites, with the potential to slide into the 2 spot after a few more listens this week.

Duritz was already up there on my list of people I'm impressed by and kind of hate at the same time. Remember back in the day when Friends was on and he somehow banged Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox? In the SAME YEAR? This is not a dude who is in the running for People Magazine's 50 most beautiful people, know what I mean? I'd be impressed if Clooney pulled off that back-to-backer today, much less in 1997 or whenever. And Duritz is no Clooney. Although if you read down to the third question, this interview provides some insight into how someone who looks like this ran through Central Perk's finest in a week and a half's time.

Now I'm just babbling. My point? To paraphrase my idol Hank Moody, it's great to see Duritz perform the fuck out of this shit.

Bottom line Johnson - if you like the Crows, you'll enjoy every minute of this album. It's what you expect, but it surpasses those expectations and over-delivers. I'm (clearly) impressed. Pick it up - but not on iTunes. Check out my new one-stop shop for all music needs, amazonmp3.com. DRM-free, twice the quality (256 kbps), and seamless integration into your iTunes. You can still use it to manage your music, but you're not getting ratfucked by lame DRM rules.

Over.

National Corndog Day

2008-03-21T12:21:00.001-07:00

National Corndog Day, Celebrating Corndogs, PBR & Tater Tots | Laughing Squid

I don't know what it is about this that appeals the most to me - that corndogs have their own day; that tomorrow is said day; that PBR is prominently involved; or that bombers will be blanketing the city in meat on sticks. I believe they call that a win-win-win-win.

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Oh the madness!

2008-03-20T10:41:00.000-07:00

I have many many stories to share from SXSW, which was to-date the most grueling endurance drinking test I've faced. It was an amazing week in so many ways. Heard awesome new bands. Met incredible new people. Got about 24 hours of sleep over 10 days. And came back shockingly refreshed and un-hung over. Although it's quite possible I still have a recklessly high BAC even 5 days after returning from Austin.

Anyway. I owe some stories on that end, and I'll deliver on that soon. But what's on my mind at the moment is March Madness - games are in progress and I'm already all tingly. This year it's gonna be tough to take off in the middle of the day and set up shop at a sports bar with my laptop. But the next best thing is March Madness On Demand, hosted by CBS and undoubtedly killing productivity across the country.

I'm currently watching Georgia dismantle Xavier on one monitor while working on the other. Good times. I've got Stellas under my desk for a mid-afternoon snack, and brackets hung on the wall to track the madness game-by-game. It's not as perfect a set-up as, say, the Mirage sports book, but it's a damn fine war room and in a pinch it'll do nicely.

Enjoy the tourney, go Bruins, and SXSW stories to come.

On the loose in Austin

2008-03-12T09:46:00.000-07:00

Is it a good sign when you can actually hear your liver screaming "hey fuck YOU" at 11:45 in the morning on a Wednesday? It may not be a good indicator of strong vital signs, but it's definitely confirmation that you're getting the most out of your trip to Austin for SXSW.

I'm having a little trouble believing this is only the halfway point in this ridiculous marathon of booze-infused shenanigans. We've so far acquired an entourage of 15-20 of the most awesome fun people I've ever met, and every night so far has topped the last - which feels impossible because every night has been so incredible.

A quick top ten list - and please forgive me if this is a rambling mess of a blog post because I'm pretty sure I'm still drunk and when I cut myself shaving this morning I actually bled barbecue sauce and baked beans.

Top ten highlights of the trip so far:
10. Dance-y Audrey - after a few cocktails, our typically reserved former white house worker PR agency lead gets a little, well, dance-y. This is a good thing for everyone involved.
9. The white jumpsuit. Anyone who was with us is nodding in agreement. Wow.
8. Chester French - awesome band, amazing venue, best music of the trip so far. Free red bull vodkas at an open bar didn't hurt any either.
7. imeem people - they're the best. We took approximately a hundred and fifty surfer-on-acid shots, and each one was delicious. Thanks Steve.
6. The Monkey!! Why do they call him the monkey? Ask the tattoo running across his stomach that says "Monkey." Friends for life Monkey, friends for life.
5. Kyle's mini-bar - us 1, mini-bar 0. Kyle hosted the after after party on Sunday night and we absolutely tore that thing apart. As Sam Elliot said perfectly in Lebowski, "sometimes you eat the bar." Yessir.
4. BT - one of the best DJs in the world spinning 4 feet away in a tiny upscale venue while drinking red bulls by the shit ton? Yes please! Even a hired douchebag power-dancing in a wrestling singlet couldn't bring us down.
3. Van Houtte! She's a bad bitch, she's a dirty bitch, she's a drunk bitch, she's sometimes a sneaky bitch, and she's the best bitch I know in Texas - love you mean it Van Houtte.
2. Natalie the bartender - sometimes you meet people who come in on their day off to host a bar in your booth, then match you shot for shot all night at the RockBand party. Love that.
1. The Moo party, the RockBand party, and every night here somehow topping the last.

Honorable mention to Slevine's adoption of the head-butt, and her proven willingness to head-butt anyone at any time, from any angle. There have been a handful of nearly broken noses and a dozen or so shots to the temple. Thanks Slevine.

Stay tuned for updates from the music portion of the week...if I make it.

Austin update - round 1

2008-03-08T06:42:00.000-08:00

Well it's colder than I had hoped. There apparently won't be as much poolside laying out as I had included in the Dream Itinerary. We landed last night at 10pm, were at the hotel and enjoying room service by 11, and had already found a group of friends who were between parties and ready to meet up by 11:30. By 11:45 we had been kicked out of our first establishment - a local smoke shop with an assortment of "water pipes" and other weed paraphernalia that should never ever be referenced as such during a transaction.

I thought Texas people were laid back and adopted the "j.k. livin'" lifestyle. Doing their finest work to eradicate the letter G from our language (chillin', livin', where you goin', how you doin', etc.). Apparently not everyone in Austin subscribes to this lifestyle. I ordered up a pack of Marlboro Ultra Lights - digression: there are probably very few ways to feel like more of a pussy than walking into a Texas smoke shop and ordering a pack of ultra lights. I may has well have asked for some Virginia Slims, or maybe new car scented douche.

Anyway. I ordered up the cigarettes, and was talking with a friend about the vast assortment of glass bongs on display. I quickly segued into a discussion about a pipe called a bazooka that a friend had given me awhile back, how it's used, etc. Innocuous discussion between myself and another party, not directly concerning anything in the store. My friend remarked that she's not much of a weed person and so had never used such a device.The dude behind the counter, who appeared to be farming a ZZ Top beard, says under his breath "I don't want none of that talk in my store."

Giving this borderline-vagrant waaaaaaaay too much credit, I assumed he was making a witty faux-mocking comment about my friend not being a weed person and how that's not cool in his clearly pro-weed establishment. So I say "ya man, my bad, I'll take her outside." And we continue our conversation. My friend and I find common ground discussing the pleasures of hookahs, and I bring up that, weed person or no, it's kinda nice to sprinkle some funny stuff on top of the strawberry tobacco. I'm selling her on the benefits of this concoction when I hear louder and more gruffly "Hey! I said I don't want you talkin' about no illegal shit in my store!"

Clearly our anti-establishment weed product proprietor was upset now. I just kind of looked at him, took my change from his bony Texan fingers, and he pointed us to the door. I thought it best not to initiate a larger discussion about the matter, and we left the store before he had the chance to ask us to do so more forcefully.

This dude took himself just a little too seriously, me thinks. I don't have too many rules, but when you have shirts in your store that say "fuck you I'm from Texas" and they're hanging directly under approximately 40 feet of glass bongs of all shapes and sizes, I think you should probably be required to do your job with a smile. Life can't be that bad.

More updates from the road coming shortly...

On the loose in Austin

2008-03-06T13:52:00.001-08:00

Go ahead and file this blog post by Derek Powazek under "things I wish I had thought of first" right alongside the TV show Californication, eBay, the iPod and zippers.

Go ahead and copy-paste those exact words for my own Austin warning, only subtract the beard that I can't grow, and instead of before and after noon let's go ahead and use 10am as our coffee-to-beer crossover...